


A forbidden seal

by MJJean



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Bernkastel is never said to be a smart witch, CW: Destruction of books, Comedy, Gen, Stupidity, Witch Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27351055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MJJean/pseuds/MJJean
Summary: Bernkastel crosses Featherine one too many times, over a simple heist.
Kudos: 7





	A forbidden seal

**Author's Note:**

> The minorest of Umineko spoilers.

Bernkastel peered up at the floating orb that rested in a deep corner of the City of Books. It was a gaudy decoration compared to the rest of the library, but one that had Bernkastel’s full attention. Flowery runes marked its exterior, and within? Well, within there was sweet treasure.

“It’s clear,” Lambdadelta called, stepping through the rift of space. “She’s too far away and engrossed in a set of books to care.”

“Excellent.” Bernkastel purred. “Then let us begin.” She lept atop a shelf, kicked off, and began to fly up to the orb. When it was within reach, Bern channeled her magic into orb, trying to unlock its hidden contents.

Lambdadelta sidled alongside Bern. “So, why even bother with this again?”

“It’s been a long day, sometimes a few shortcuts should be taken and one of those shortcuts is skipping the hassle of talking to Lady Auaurora.” Bernkastel felt a seal of the orb pop. “So if I do this right, it will be as easy as this and I’ll be on my way.”

Lambdadelta peeked her head at the top of the orb. “Well I do admit seeing you play the bad girl like this is very fun, just hope it doesn’t blow up in your face.”

Bernkastel reached her hand onto the final seal at the top of the orb. “Such things are mere trifles for my power, and you should be well aware of that by no-”

The moment her hand touched the top of the orb, barely grazing it, the spell keeping it aloft ended, and the orb fell down into the ground. Bern could only watch in horror as it hit the ground and shattered, spilling its contents across the library floor.

Lambdadelta gave a malicious grin. “I’m very well aware of it.”

Bern tried to shoot her a scowl, but her witchy lover had already stepped into the rift of space, leaving Bern alone as footsteps echoed closer to her.

* * *

Tohya Hachijou heard the crash of something as she sat reading. In a moment, she was upright and walking toward the other room of her apartment study. “Bern, you had better not be knocking things off of shelves agai-”

As she rounded the corner, she saw her cat on top of the refrigerator: wide-eyed, flicking her eyes between her and her favorite stuffed doll. And on the floor was the shattered remains of the kitty treat bowl.

Tohya gave a grave sigh. “Bernkastel!”

* * *

“Hello, Lady Featherine. I heard a commotion and came to investigate the disturbance much like you, but the perpetrator seems to have absconded. If we hurry, we may yet catch them.”

Featherine Augustus Aurora had a cold smile on her face. “Lady Bernkastel, I find your ability to speak with such a straight and convinced face to be equally matched by your inability to construct a half believable lie.”

Bernkastel slowly backed away from her patron. “Now, such accusations are quite unbacked by any evidence. Remember that there is yet a trickster witch that lurks these halls who quite enjoys pinning the blame on me for such pranks.”

“I, for some strange reason, find it difficult to believe that Lady Lambdadelta, would take such interest in the rewards only you seem to covet. Surely there would be some motivation for her, don’t you think?”

“Am I a door into the inner machinations of that brat’s mind? Could I pretend to know what insanity rests in the mind of the sweets-addled maniac?”

Featherine took out a feather quill. “Oh I do not expect you to have a ready answer. I feel like it would only be fair to give you time to think.” With a wave of her quill, a hole into the black void beyond space and time opened at her side. “Thus, I shall prepare a place for you to think uninterrupted.”

Bernkastel knew the time for talk was over. She lept over the endless deep gaps of the library and landed upon the bookshelf on the far side. Turning, seeing a thousand hands reach for her from her master’s position, she touched the darkness between the books, and out poured a sea of abomination cats, hissing and scratching and intercepting hands as they came. “Now, Lady Aurora, you are being too hasty.”

“Of course not, you are simply too slow of thought.” With a wave of the endless witch’s hand, a storm of angel feathers homed in on Bernkastel, who narrowly dodged with a leap, sending the feathers crashing into the bookshelf, knocking stray books everywhere.

Bern attempted to retreat into the shadows between books, stepping out in a new section with a mighty leap, but her leap was straight into the waiting arms of her patron. “You’re too quick to be walking with a cane!” She shouted, summoning a dark amalgam to stop her leap. She shot back into the shelves, sending swarms of cats and books out to stop each spell hurled at her. “I did my time, I’m not returning!”

“Oh but this will not be a hundred years trap, merely long enough for me to clean up and prepare tea for this evening’s guest.”

“With your haggard movements, it will be a thousand years trap, then!” Bernkastel found her opportunity, kicking against a support beam of the shelf and leaping over the head of Aurora. Hands that reached out for her were distracted by the falling case, and Bern gracefully alighted on the other side, moving deeper through the shelves.

“You only make your trap longer with these games.” Featherine called. “Why do you seek to flee the inevitable? We’re merely padding out the words, there is no changing the ending.”

“Isn’t it as you often say though?” The cat miko taunted from within the shadows. “The journey is more important than the destination? A climax only as satisfying as the buildup?” Bern launched her counterattack, with claws that twinkled in the sky like sharp shards of stardust. She lept down in a flurry of shredded pages and fur, targeting the memory storage device of her patron.

But her advance was stopped mid-air as she realized it was all a trap. Between her and her target, too close to leap away from, was the open tear that sealed her doom.

Featherine smirked. “Alas, I do not trust your storytelling abilities, so it is better to end this early. My apologies, dear Frederica.”

* * *

Yukari Kotobuki announced herself with a rap on the door of her friend’s apartment. “Miss Hachijou? I hope I’m not too early. Miss?” She was stopped in her tracks. Books, pieces of books were everywhere in this tiny apartment. An entire bookshelf was knocked over. The apartment was a mess. And at the sitting area table, Tohya Hachijou sat with a very loud pet carrier in her arms.

She looked up at her guest. "Ah, pardon the mess. Tell me, have you ever considered mothering a cat?"


End file.
